Lord, Fill Us Up
by Sorafiena
Summary: Just some thoughts I had to get on paper one night.


We've all felt it. Every one of us.

A close friend isn't so close anymore.

Someone has been spreading lies behind your back.

Your boyfriend cheated.

Your girlfriend has moved on.

They aren't the same person you thought they were.

They'd said they'd always be there, but where are they now?

Peoples' love is conditional. It's based on how they feel in that moment; what they think they might gain; the love they feel they need to get back. It's easy to sway. Bendable.

Changeable.

People are selfish. They're rude. They won't always be there, no matter what's been said in the past. They can't help it. They don't always keep their promises, no matter how certain they might be. They will let you down, move on, disappoint.

People are like this because they change. It's a part of life that is unavoidable.

A person can change their mind like they can change their clothes. Their resolve can be swayed by the little bit of extra pull a few more voices added into the crowd can bring. A heart can be turned by that one accident in that one tough day that is just too hard to fight through. People can change who they are when they feel their circumstances call for it.

We're just fickle like that.

Why?

Because we aren't perfect. As much as we like to think that we are, perfection is a goal that we simply can't reach.

We can see it in others so plainly, but can we detect it in ourselves?

Or is it that our own imperfections are so painfully obvious in our eyes, we think everyone else must be better? Maybe we put the ones we look up to on a pedestal of sorts, and our lives are thrown into complete turmoil when their imperfections show through.

It's shocking—eye opening—when that happens. When the thin gold covering wears through to show the tarnished underside. After all, they look perfect on the outside, right? They're gorgeous. They have the fashion down. The swag, the lingo, the ever-present posse… Even the vibe they give off shouts 'FAULTLESS', rubbing your own deficiencies in your face. When their cover slips and their true colors show, it's a hard hit to deal with.

Yet having that mask come off, being imperfect, is a part of being human that everyone struggles with.

That's part of why people will let you down.

We seek the approval and the affections of our peers because we need to feel accepted to live. But our peers and our friends feel just like we do—desperate for some sort of recognition that will make them feel good about themselves for a few short moments.

We take our empty cups and beg the ones around us to fill us up, when they have no more to offer.

Does this bring satisfaction? Does the life of constantly searching, always needing more, bring true joy? Will we ever be comfortable and confident with ourselves when we continually ask those whose insecurities are just like ours to give us the reassurance we need? Is a life of disappointment, rejection, and broken heart enough?

If there was someone whose love for us was so deep, so wide, so great, and so completely unconditional that we could return to Him again and again and He would always comfort us, love us, and fill us up, would we ever go back to the ones who are just as empty as we are?

God never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and always. He will NEVER disappoint. His love is UNCONDITIONAL. He will not move on without you. And He is the only one who is big enough to handle your complete trust. In fact, He asks for it.

So why do we turn to the people who let us down, when we have a God and Father who keeps calling our name, longing for us to finally run to Him?

He is ready for us. He wants us, imperfections and all. He created us the way that we are for a reason, and He loves us no less when we mess up. Every detail of our being was hand crafted by the Author and Finisher of this world. Our smile, our laugh, our expressions when we're sad or angry… All of that was Him. He knew everything about us before we were even a thought, and He loved us. He loved the plans He'd crafted for us.

He lavishes His true love on us. His unconditional love.

So why don't we run for it, embrace it? Why don't we tell others of it? Spread the good news that there is someone who can fill us all up? Someone who wants to.

For me, it's because I've been afraid. I wonder how someone who knows me better than I know myself could still love me with such an undying fire that He was willing to give His life up on a cross so that I could be with Him. And even if I was the only person on this earth, he still would have done it.

I have a hard time understanding, and when I get close to grasping it, it's hard for me to believe.

I'm nothing special. I'm not a supermodel. I don't have all the latest clothes and the designer labels. I'm clumsy and I sometimes say the wrong things. I trip over flat surfaces and I tend to bomb my math tests. I'm maybe not as tall as I'd like, or not as skinny. My hair can be a mess and my makeup can run. There's a lot I don't understand, and sometimes I look stupid for it.

I don't sing well, but I still sing. Loud.

I'm not an athlete. In fact, I'm far from it.

When I get excited, I talk loud and fast, and get on peoples' nerves.

My laugh is obnoxious.

I'm hungry for acceptance.

I don't always make the right decisions.

But you know what?

I'm still God's precious daughter. His princess. And even though I have a list of flaws I see in myself, He only sees His beautiful creation.

He loves me for my flaws and my talents. He loves me for me. And that's more than I could ever ask for.

So I will run to Him in my brokenness and need. I will look to Him in my emptiness, when I need support… I will take the news of His love to all corners of the earth, to each heart that is yet unknowing. And I will do my best to pour into the lives of the ones who are thirsty, the ones who are still searching. I want to be the image of God's love to every one of his beloved children.

I want to enter into a love relationship with Him that will take my breath away. I want to be an open vessel, ready and willing to go where He will lead, speak what He will speak, and touch who He will touch.

The Lord is my Source and my Provider. I have no needs beyond Him. Father, I'm ready now. Do what You will in my life. Fill me, God, so that I could pour into others.

Take my heart, and make it like You. Take my hands, for I offer them up to You. They belong only to You.

Move me, Lord. Let me always remember that you never change. Your love is unconditional. I'm tired of running, of searching… I've found You, God. I'm taking hold of You, of Your promises, and Father, I'm never letting go.

I love you, Daddy. Thank You for what You've done for me.


End file.
